#14 (471 words)

Sir come, say: You mine, woman.

And he mark my back. He mark my seat. Say he gonna set me free only now ain’t the time. We got to wait. He come to my door though every day. Half of me hate when he turn up because we act like now the time when it ain’t. The other half joyful because just a slim sight of that time is better than sitting on my hands dying and waiting.

My people don’t like what we doing. Some of them say he ain’t never gonna set me free. “Why he do that when he own you? Why he gone to give away his property?” I think on this and it be a strong chance he go back on his word and I don’t know what stirs me up more- him not setting me free or him setting me free.

Others say he ain’t the one to set me free. Say, “Only you can set you free.” Or “Only the Almighty can set you free.” I wonder do I even want to be free. What would I do without him? Do I gots the power to do it for my own self? Times I think yes. Times I think no. And God don’t care for the bodies of folks. He deal in freeing the mind. The spirit. That means I could still die under this man. And if life is a toil such as it is and folks is living and dying according to life’s toil then how can a mind ever be truly free?

He say he love my skin. My body. My heart. I believe him some. He taking big chances coming to me. He kiss me and touch me. Not just take like some of his people do. Besides how can he take what I freely give?

He gentle to me. I love his skin next to me. When he come to my door, he ask can he come in. I never say no though I feel in my heart I should. But when I see him there and see his hands and his legs and his eyes my thighs catch afire. I love his weight on me. I look down at our legs tangled together like a nest of snakes and watch them move and fight and I feel like we One. He disappears inside me and becomes me.

When we apart I weep. I think his name over and over for comfort instead of calling on the name of the Lord. Oo it feel wrong and right all together. I fights inside me. The half that wish he never would come to my door again and the half that live and breathe him and it make me so tired all over.  Which half gonna win?

Either way I lose.

her existing  (Copyright 2009)

~ by c on September 26, 2009.

One Response to “#14 (471 words)”

  1. You amaze me and amaze me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: