#7 (335words)

I find her again, lying in bed.
Johnnie- one hand numb beneath her pillow, the fingers of the other rest against her mouth. I see the smooth shine of her shoulder, the aching bend of her hip, the crush of thighs against her belly.
The stare of her eyes infinite.

I note the bedclothes amassed about her ankles, hiding her feet.
It is meaningful.
She is captivated by anguish.

you ain’t goin nowhere

The room is dusty- the bookshelf and the books in it; layered on the lampshade and swirling in the air with that thick sweet odor coming off her body, remnants of her thoughts.
All dust and sick.
And it is dim.
I’ve drawn the curtains thinking sun may move her, reanimate her eyes, bring her back to me, but no- she remained inert.
She hasn’t moved for days and she is beginning to soften.
I finally had to close the curtains again.
Her faded skin and empty eyes become more horrific in the bright light.
The present dimness makes her languishing glamorous, even lovely and romantic.

I wonder what she sees now- if she sees me standing over her.
Does she know what I’m thinking?
I am tempted by the dark eyes, mutilation of her mouth with my thick ropy fingers, her body silent and bent like a fetus to go to her.
Embrace her or berate her, to uncurl her person.

It’s not so much that I’d like to fix her but more that I want to join her, spoon her, bend my thighs up behind hers and press my own aching stomach against her back, press my face into her hair and sleep.
I think I could do that and wake up in another time to everything fixed and in its place- even if a little dusty.
My own hair long but my body unaged, my mind wizened by years of dreams.

I do this. I do this and more.
Johnnie’s so tight, so cool.
I love her to death.

 

die my anguish  (Copyright 2008 beezies)
04.15.08

Word count: 335

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~ by c on April 17, 2008.

3 Responses to “#7 (335words)”

  1. you are killing me.
    you are sharpening the hooked barbs you’re famous for.
    i can barely stand how good you are.
    i could talk about all that’s right here for the rest of the night, but i’ll spare you that and admire your talent and technique in silence…

    Thank you greatly, my friend.

  2. I really got a rush reading this story. It is engaging, creative and very well thought out. Bravo

    This is the first time I have heard music on a blog. I am one of those people who likes to have perfect silence when I read, so for me it was distracting. But great mix from Princess Bride. It is all genius. Thank you

    Thank you so much for stopping by.
    i’ve been lurking about your page for a while and like it.
    So i am pleased that you’ve liked something i’ve written.

    i’ve been considering removing the music.
    i go back and forth.
    i know that sometimes viewers may be at work and the music is a no-no.
    But i also want to show a bit more of myself, my personality.
    Thank you for the input, though.
    And for reading.
    And commenting.

  3. Everything Jane said, and more.

    Oh my god. To recast a scene and spin it through those eyes. Your ability is astounding.

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